More Navel Gazing
I have an ongoing battle with an issue of not letting those around me 'in'. I keep people at arms length, only sharing those things and aspects of me that I'm comfortable people knowing and only then when I feel ready.
I acknowledge this to be a negative and overly self-protective trait but at times it's not surprising that I learnt to behave in this way when certain people close to me continue to belittle or ignore my beliefs, actions or personality.
So tell me, if you have people like that in your life, how do you deal with them?
posted by Rhea at 3/18/2007 09:59:00 pm
5 Comments:
If it's someone I'm close to, such as a relative or an old friend then I would just tell them "you show no respect for my feelings". I would expect my family and friends to be this honest with me as well. Actually, I've had to say this to people before, and I've had people say it to me, and the result is usually greater understanding and stronger relationships. Sometimes people just don't realise what they're doing wrong.
Hmm, that's quite a polite way of handling it. Yes, I think you're right. People get into certains habits and probably don't realise.
Firmly and assertively. You do NOT need that.
Unless I'm related by blood, in which case, I deal with them rather badly...
Yes well that's the thing, it's always more difficult to deal with one's relatives, isn't it?
I suspect this is going to be an ongoing process of slow change.
Sometimes it is hard to be assertive and stand up for what we want. But we owe it to ourselves, because if we don't, who will? That said, you can only let in people you trust to respect your feelings, views and opinions; these people make you feel good when you're around them. There are enough people in this world only too ready to make you feel small... I don't let people like that into my life. I once had an "acquaintance" like that - I thought she was a friend (too blind to see otherwise) but as soon as I got wise to her, I cut her out of my life.
The most important lesson I learned is to only surround myself with positive people even if it's only one or two :)
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